This past Friday, we turned in 5 copies of our completed profile. We looked over it, proofed it and tweaked it until we ended up with something we are really proud of and really reflects who we are.
The whole profile process has gone so smoothly. Even though the questions were very difficult to answer, or at least to put the answers into words, the layout and the aesthetics were pretty fun. And I knew how to get it to look how I wanted it, because of my work with text layout at my job. So I had my document all ready to go. But how to get it to the Kinko's so they could print it up all fancy? I was talking with a friend at work, and she causally mentioned how her dad uploads stuff to the Kinko's website and then just picks it up. When I got home that evening, it really was that easy. I got to pick the paper, the cover, the binding and the quantity. Even paid for it online.
So Friday morning, when we went to pick it up, it was ready in a neat little box. It was so fast and easy. Even more so than I could have ever imagined. Then we just stopped by the agency and dropped off our box!
Now we wait. Something we are getting pretty good at. Our profile will be shown to birth mothers that we are compatible with - and we just wait to be chosen. Our social worker is going to give us updates as needed. But she isn't going to tell us when or if we are being shown to a birth mother, if she can help it. This is to aid us in not getting our hopes up too soon. So the call that we are waiting for is: Your baby is HERE! It could be several months; it could be a year. But it will be the perfect time.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Home Study - part two
The second part of our Home Study went very smoothly. Our social worker said that she would get to our house about 9 am. She pulled in the driveway as the church bells were chiming 9 o'clock. I was very impressed!
She did Daniel's individual interview first. Then after his part, we did a portion as a couple. We heard more about the state laws and about the lawyer that is going to assist us with all the legal stuff. We have such a great team already in place to help us through the hard stuff! Then our social worker asked us about parenting styles, goals and how we will approach parenting.
During a short break, she glanced through our rough draft of the profile. She thought it looked great. I even had her read a few of the pages that I was a little unsure of - and she thought they sounded wonderful! She said that she was going to look through it more thoroughly and have a birth mother counselor look at it too. But she did say not to expect much critique, because what I had was already great!!! My effort really paid off. I had put my heart and soul into it. (Daniel, of course, did his portion of it. I did the layout and some of the wording to make it flow. And I did all the layout of the pictures - even put a drop shadow around each one!)
[I had worked all day the day before to get everything in order and to make it look the way that I wanted it. From about 10 am to 5 pm straight. It felt like I was back in school getting a project done to turn it in the next day!]
So now, I'm going to be putting the finishing touches on the Profile, like labeling pictures and making it flow even better - and sound like us! I was unsure if we had to stick to the format that the agency had, but our social worker said that I could just go for it and make it my own! They didn't want to hinder creativity. Of course, within reason! But I'm going to have something that really represents US!
She did Daniel's individual interview first. Then after his part, we did a portion as a couple. We heard more about the state laws and about the lawyer that is going to assist us with all the legal stuff. We have such a great team already in place to help us through the hard stuff! Then our social worker asked us about parenting styles, goals and how we will approach parenting.
During a short break, she glanced through our rough draft of the profile. She thought it looked great. I even had her read a few of the pages that I was a little unsure of - and she thought they sounded wonderful! She said that she was going to look through it more thoroughly and have a birth mother counselor look at it too. But she did say not to expect much critique, because what I had was already great!!! My effort really paid off. I had put my heart and soul into it. (Daniel, of course, did his portion of it. I did the layout and some of the wording to make it flow. And I did all the layout of the pictures - even put a drop shadow around each one!)
[I had worked all day the day before to get everything in order and to make it look the way that I wanted it. From about 10 am to 5 pm straight. It felt like I was back in school getting a project done to turn it in the next day!]
So now, I'm going to be putting the finishing touches on the Profile, like labeling pictures and making it flow even better - and sound like us! I was unsure if we had to stick to the format that the agency had, but our social worker said that I could just go for it and make it my own! They didn't want to hinder creativity. Of course, within reason! But I'm going to have something that really represents US!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Starting Profile
We have started on our Profile. This is what is going to be shown to the birthmothers, for us to be chosen to get a child. It is much harder than we thought it would be. And much harder than the Dossier. The Dossier was mainly legal forms - things that had to be checked on, printed, fingerprinted and certified. These are the things that we were used to. And the Home Study that went into the Dossier was prepared by the social worker. So really other people did most of the work. The hard part was waiting for all of the approvals and certifications to come in the mail.
The Profile is completely different. We have to put in pictures, arrange everything and answer essay questions! I started with the cover page. We had been given several "sample" layouts from which to choose. I really didn't like any of them, especially the cover pages. So I made my own. Working with layout and design in my job, I am able to tweak the layout and fonts some, so that it looks a little better - at least to me. After the basic "stats" of who we are and some pictures, come some easy questions, like what is your favorite food. Then we get to the tough stuff. Some of the questions asked on the profile, I don't even know the answers myself. I would really LIKE to know the answer to some of these questions.
So we are now working on these questions. Some of the answers are almost impossible to put into words. And these words are going to be seen by birthmothers and basically determine if and when we get a child.
The Profile is completely different. We have to put in pictures, arrange everything and answer essay questions! I started with the cover page. We had been given several "sample" layouts from which to choose. I really didn't like any of them, especially the cover pages. So I made my own. Working with layout and design in my job, I am able to tweak the layout and fonts some, so that it looks a little better - at least to me. After the basic "stats" of who we are and some pictures, come some easy questions, like what is your favorite food. Then we get to the tough stuff. Some of the questions asked on the profile, I don't even know the answers myself. I would really LIKE to know the answer to some of these questions.
So we are now working on these questions. Some of the answers are almost impossible to put into words. And these words are going to be seen by birthmothers and basically determine if and when we get a child.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Physicals
We both had to have physicals AGAIN for the new adoption. Something amazing happened when I made the appointments. I had called in February to see when the earliest appointments were going to be. They were scheduling appointments for mid-April. When I called a couple weeks later, I was told the earliest available appointment was mid-May! The plan is to get the Home Study and Profile done by the end of May.
So I went ahead with making the appointments. She asked when our last ones were. I told her that they were in December of 2007, but that we were doing this for an adoption, so whether or not insurance covered it didn’t really matter. It was something we had to do. So she went to checking for available appointment. The first one she found was April 16th. The only thing was that it was an afternoon appointment. What that meant was that the lab work would have to be done at a separate time, instead of being done back to back with the appointment. Not a big deal. Daniel has actually told me that the 16th would be perfect for him. And then she had another appointment just like that one the next Thursday for me. I don't know what happened to the only ones being in mid-May. And I was amazed to hear HER volunteer April 16th - I had said nothing yet about a desired day.
So it worked out perfectly. God is amazing the way that he has just made every step of these adoptions so smooth, so full of little miracles. This new adoption being no exception.
Our physical appointments went well, too. The lab work was done so fast. The doctor and all the nurses were so excited to hear about our story. Even the nurse that was drawing the blood talked to both of us about how she was adopted and how special it was to her. They worked with us and helped us out so much. And we got all the forms filled out so easily! Oh, and we each are very healthy!
So I went ahead with making the appointments. She asked when our last ones were. I told her that they were in December of 2007, but that we were doing this for an adoption, so whether or not insurance covered it didn’t really matter. It was something we had to do. So she went to checking for available appointment. The first one she found was April 16th. The only thing was that it was an afternoon appointment. What that meant was that the lab work would have to be done at a separate time, instead of being done back to back with the appointment. Not a big deal. Daniel has actually told me that the 16th would be perfect for him. And then she had another appointment just like that one the next Thursday for me. I don't know what happened to the only ones being in mid-May. And I was amazed to hear HER volunteer April 16th - I had said nothing yet about a desired day.
So it worked out perfectly. God is amazing the way that he has just made every step of these adoptions so smooth, so full of little miracles. This new adoption being no exception.
Our physical appointments went well, too. The lab work was done so fast. The doctor and all the nurses were so excited to hear about our story. Even the nurse that was drawing the blood talked to both of us about how she was adopted and how special it was to her. They worked with us and helped us out so much. And we got all the forms filled out so easily! Oh, and we each are very healthy!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Home Study - part one
We had our first Home Study and met our new social worker (one for Domestic adoption, one for China adoption - and they are working together for us too). The study is usually in 4 parts, but because we are doing another one so soon after our first one, she is able to combine them into 2 parts. So the first one was a interview with the two of us together. And the second part was going to be my individual interview (since we are still in the heart of tax season).
When we started, she was mainly talking about the birth mothers. - who they see come into the agency and some of the truths about who they are. I handed in all the forms, questionnaires and checks that we had prepared for her. Then we got to the interview part. We went over (again) how we met, how our relationship has progressed and how we communicate. Lots of questions that you know the answer to, but they are sometimes hard to verbalize. Then she released us for lunch – and Daniel went back to the office. I knew that he would have to. So I did a little shopping and ate a quick bite, then headed back for part two. After lunch, I had to answer all the difficult questions about who I am - growing up, relationships and other thought-inducing topics.
One down, one to go.
When we started, she was mainly talking about the birth mothers. - who they see come into the agency and some of the truths about who they are. I handed in all the forms, questionnaires and checks that we had prepared for her. Then we got to the interview part. We went over (again) how we met, how our relationship has progressed and how we communicate. Lots of questions that you know the answer to, but they are sometimes hard to verbalize. Then she released us for lunch – and Daniel went back to the office. I knew that he would have to. So I did a little shopping and ate a quick bite, then headed back for part two. After lunch, I had to answer all the difficult questions about who I am - growing up, relationships and other thought-inducing topics.
One down, one to go.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Fingerprints, again
This past week, we went to the police station - again - to get our fingerprints done. One of the first steps for our new adoption. This is for our background and criminal record checks, required by the state.
We were a just a mile away from the house when Daniel asked if I had the fingerprint cards with me. I didn’t. I felt so unprepared. It was upsetting, seeing as how we've already done this. I just felt like I should remember - at least to BRING the cards. So we had to turn around to get them. I read the instructions on the way. We hadn’t filled out anything in preparation for getting printed. Again, feeling frustrated and unprepared. And then even MORE feelings of unpreparedness - having to sit in the car and fill out the forms – A LOT of forms. And we got in to the desk with 45 minutes to spare. The last time that we had our fingerprinting done (at the police station), it was $10 per person. So I made sure that we had enough cash this time – and the checkbook, just in case. But the price had changed. It was $5 PER CARD. And with us having 8 cards (4 each), it was going to cost $40. Only cash accepted. The only preparation that I had actually done for this day WAS to get cash out. But it wasn’t enough. Between the two of us, we only had $37. So we checked in anyway, and the lady wrote up a receipt. She was so nice and understanding. Daniel went to get some cash, and she finished up our registration. As she handed me back our IDs (both of our IDs) and the receipt, she said that she’d let me go ahead and have my prints done. I said that Daniel would be right back to pay. And she kidded that I had nowhere to run and that she had “connections”. So I walked down the long hallway past the detective offices to the booking area. And the fingerprinting commenced. Even with me having to do 4 cards, it went fairly quickly. So after wiping my hands with the magical ink-removing wipes, I walked back down the hallway. And Daniel was already back – and paying. As we walked back down the hallway, he said that he had gone to the bank – and there was a story to tell. When we got back to the car, he told me his bank story. He had gone to the bank to use the ATM. But it was broken, being fixed, but unusable. So he had to go into the bank to get some cash. And the bank had just opened – 5 minutes earlier. So if we hadn’t filled out the paperwork in the car “wasting” that time, he would have had to wait for the bank to open. So he grabbed a blank check and filled out the information and took it to the teller. And she asked for his ID. He had to tell her that he didn’t have his ID (it was back at the police station). So she told him that they had this new thing that he could swipe his ATM card inside the bank. And he successfully got the cash!
So even when I didn't plan out things very well at all - and it seemed like things weren't working out, God's hand was guiding us. Each step that we take in the adoption process always seems to have a little adventure that works out perfectly. Completely God! And He is providing wonderful stories that we can share how we are seeing Him work visibly in our lives.
We were a just a mile away from the house when Daniel asked if I had the fingerprint cards with me. I didn’t. I felt so unprepared. It was upsetting, seeing as how we've already done this. I just felt like I should remember - at least to BRING the cards. So we had to turn around to get them. I read the instructions on the way. We hadn’t filled out anything in preparation for getting printed. Again, feeling frustrated and unprepared. And then even MORE feelings of unpreparedness - having to sit in the car and fill out the forms – A LOT of forms. And we got in to the desk with 45 minutes to spare. The last time that we had our fingerprinting done (at the police station), it was $10 per person. So I made sure that we had enough cash this time – and the checkbook, just in case. But the price had changed. It was $5 PER CARD. And with us having 8 cards (4 each), it was going to cost $40. Only cash accepted. The only preparation that I had actually done for this day WAS to get cash out. But it wasn’t enough. Between the two of us, we only had $37. So we checked in anyway, and the lady wrote up a receipt. She was so nice and understanding. Daniel went to get some cash, and she finished up our registration. As she handed me back our IDs (both of our IDs) and the receipt, she said that she’d let me go ahead and have my prints done. I said that Daniel would be right back to pay. And she kidded that I had nowhere to run and that she had “connections”. So I walked down the long hallway past the detective offices to the booking area. And the fingerprinting commenced. Even with me having to do 4 cards, it went fairly quickly. So after wiping my hands with the magical ink-removing wipes, I walked back down the hallway. And Daniel was already back – and paying. As we walked back down the hallway, he said that he had gone to the bank – and there was a story to tell. When we got back to the car, he told me his bank story. He had gone to the bank to use the ATM. But it was broken, being fixed, but unusable. So he had to go into the bank to get some cash. And the bank had just opened – 5 minutes earlier. So if we hadn’t filled out the paperwork in the car “wasting” that time, he would have had to wait for the bank to open. So he grabbed a blank check and filled out the information and took it to the teller. And she asked for his ID. He had to tell her that he didn’t have his ID (it was back at the police station). So she told him that they had this new thing that he could swipe his ATM card inside the bank. And he successfully got the cash!
So even when I didn't plan out things very well at all - and it seemed like things weren't working out, God's hand was guiding us. Each step that we take in the adoption process always seems to have a little adventure that works out perfectly. Completely God! And He is providing wonderful stories that we can share how we are seeing Him work visibly in our lives.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
NEW Adoption
As the wait for our referral from China continues on, Daniel and I have been continually praying for where God is leading us. One afternoon, feeling very lost and not knowing what we should do, I just said, “What do we do?” And the next afternoon I went to the mailbox and got a letter from our adoption agency. It was notifying us of a new program for those waiting for a China referral.
The new program is a concurrent domestic adoption during the China wait. When I read that letter, I just knew that this was what we had been waiting for. I knew that we still had a call to China, that there is a little girl for us there. But it had just seemed like there was SOMETHING else - something that I was looking for – something we were missing. And immediately, I knew that we had found it. Daniel and I prayed and talked with our social worker about it. She thought that we were perfect candidates for this new program.
I have had many fears about adopting domestically. Mainly about the adoptions usually being semi-open or fully open. But I have felt those fears just falling away. We still have questions about how open the adoption will be – and it does range case by case – but we have a peace about it. We know that this is God’s new plan for us.
With this new program, nothing about our China adoption changes. I also feel that with this new program, the wait (that is still about 4 years) is not going to be decreasing any time soon.
So we embark on a new adoption. We basically have to start over. It is a brand NEW
adoption – so new social worker – and new application. Since we are doing it concurrently at the same agency, our social workers (from both our China and domestic programs) can work together. Many things that we filled out for the agency are the same and can be put into our new file. And there are some things that we are going to have to do again – like fingerprints and physicals. But some of these would have to be redone anyway for our China program. Because of the long wait for referrals, some things in our China dossier will expire.
There will be some repeating. There will be some overlapping. But the paperwork, forms, and documents have never really bothered me. It is a wonderful challenge that has a great ending.
We have already done some of the things to get started. Police and background check letters are sent off. Fingerprints are planned for next week. Physicals in April. Home study interviews in two weeks. We are moving right along.
So as far as time frame. Ideally, the wait for a domestic adoption is about 18 months. So, with God’s grace, we will have our domestically adopted child (we don’t really have preference of male or female) in our home for about a year (which is required by China) before we go overseas to get our little girl. So when we get home, we will have 2 one year olds at the same time. Exciting!!
Prayer: We need prayer that the timing will work out perfectly. And we know that it can. God is amazing!
The new program is a concurrent domestic adoption during the China wait. When I read that letter, I just knew that this was what we had been waiting for. I knew that we still had a call to China, that there is a little girl for us there. But it had just seemed like there was SOMETHING else - something that I was looking for – something we were missing. And immediately, I knew that we had found it. Daniel and I prayed and talked with our social worker about it. She thought that we were perfect candidates for this new program.
I have had many fears about adopting domestically. Mainly about the adoptions usually being semi-open or fully open. But I have felt those fears just falling away. We still have questions about how open the adoption will be – and it does range case by case – but we have a peace about it. We know that this is God’s new plan for us.
With this new program, nothing about our China adoption changes. I also feel that with this new program, the wait (that is still about 4 years) is not going to be decreasing any time soon.
So we embark on a new adoption. We basically have to start over. It is a brand NEW
adoption – so new social worker – and new application. Since we are doing it concurrently at the same agency, our social workers (from both our China and domestic programs) can work together. Many things that we filled out for the agency are the same and can be put into our new file. And there are some things that we are going to have to do again – like fingerprints and physicals. But some of these would have to be redone anyway for our China program. Because of the long wait for referrals, some things in our China dossier will expire.
There will be some repeating. There will be some overlapping. But the paperwork, forms, and documents have never really bothered me. It is a wonderful challenge that has a great ending.
We have already done some of the things to get started. Police and background check letters are sent off. Fingerprints are planned for next week. Physicals in April. Home study interviews in two weeks. We are moving right along.
So as far as time frame. Ideally, the wait for a domestic adoption is about 18 months. So, with God’s grace, we will have our domestically adopted child (we don’t really have preference of male or female) in our home for about a year (which is required by China) before we go overseas to get our little girl. So when we get home, we will have 2 one year olds at the same time. Exciting!!
Prayer: We need prayer that the timing will work out perfectly. And we know that it can. God is amazing!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Still the same
There is no new news. The wait time is still about 4 years for a healthy child referral (for us to get our child).
Right now we are just waiting and looking - for where God is leading us. Any doors or windows that come across our path, we are pursuing. Leaving no stone unturned. We pray to know WHAT we should be doing, if anything at all. Should we pursue other options, other countries or is our purpose to just WAIT? We feel strongly that there is a reason for this extended waiting period, and we are seeking out what God has planned for us.
In November, a possibility of a special needs child came to us. We got as much information as we could and prayed about it. But this did not feel like where God was leading us. We had been thinking about the possibility of a special needs child. The adoption process tends to be a little faster, and there are so many children with special needs that need families desperately. With this child being a "tangible" possibility, we got to really think about it and pray about having a special needs child. But we really felt like this is not where God wants us - yet, at least.
And this January, I thought about the possibility of revisiting fertility treatments. I even got the 20 pages of medical paperwork to fill out. But every time I looked at it, I just felt this horrible, sinking feeling. And a voice in my head just saying - this isn't it.
With each opportunity that comes to us, even though the answers seem to be "No" right now, we are receiving answers. There are many opportunities for us to expand our family, and we will continue to seek them out. As we wait for our child from China.
Right now we are just waiting and looking - for where God is leading us. Any doors or windows that come across our path, we are pursuing. Leaving no stone unturned. We pray to know WHAT we should be doing, if anything at all. Should we pursue other options, other countries or is our purpose to just WAIT? We feel strongly that there is a reason for this extended waiting period, and we are seeking out what God has planned for us.
In November, a possibility of a special needs child came to us. We got as much information as we could and prayed about it. But this did not feel like where God was leading us. We had been thinking about the possibility of a special needs child. The adoption process tends to be a little faster, and there are so many children with special needs that need families desperately. With this child being a "tangible" possibility, we got to really think about it and pray about having a special needs child. But we really felt like this is not where God wants us - yet, at least.
And this January, I thought about the possibility of revisiting fertility treatments. I even got the 20 pages of medical paperwork to fill out. But every time I looked at it, I just felt this horrible, sinking feeling. And a voice in my head just saying - this isn't it.
With each opportunity that comes to us, even though the answers seem to be "No" right now, we are receiving answers. There are many opportunities for us to expand our family, and we will continue to seek them out. As we wait for our child from China.
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